The word “journey” can mean so many things. It’s commonly known as an act of traveling from one place to another. Well… for the purpose of this post, the word journey means, “a long and often difficult process of personal change and development.” I won’t go into full detail in this post, but if you know what I’m talking about, then you are one who is near and dear to my heart.
For so many years, I avoided traveling to the Philippines because I just didn’t want to go. I came up with excuses like how it’s not easy for a teacher to just go on vacation in the middle of the school year or I would pick dates where no one else was available to travel. Then life happened. Apparently, I wasn’t just avoiding to go to the Philippines. I was avoiding things much greater, much deeper.
For any human being, it’s never easy dealing with a mental illness. I’ve worked so hard over the past 21 years of my life avoiding wounds that scarred me as a child. I learned to function, to maintain a “normal” life. Eventually, my avoidance affected my relationships with my family and friends. I made choices that rendered painful consequences.
When I tried to pull myself together to be a responsible adult, it just felt like one endless, mind-numbing process. I was angry and frustrated. Then a friend told me that it was time to start dealing with this madness (figuratively speaking). Fast forward, I spent 9 months in CBT therapy, depression classes, and going through 3 different anti-depressants. To this day, it was the BEST decision I made in my life. I have a better appreciation for my family and friends, and life! If there is a word I would sum up 2018 it would be THANKFUL. We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps (Proverbs 16:9). I know that we have desires in life. Unfortunately, there are moments where our plans don’t work out. We end up disappointed and we ask God “why? why me? why this?” Through this year, all of “THIS” was a lesson… we may have our plans, but when it doesn’t happen, it’s only because God’s plan is better.
So… as I was nearing my exit from therapy, my dad said, “We’re going to the Philippines in December.” I said, “Cool! Let’s go!”
